Sunday, December 9, 2007

No Man's Land (AKA: My Dream Home)

I tend to have a somewhat reclusive nature. On one hand, I am quite 'garrulous' (or so I've been informed) and good natured, but a deeper part of me craves solitude and self-reflection. Okay, maybe not so much self-reflection, but definitely solitude. Don't know why it is, but I've always pictured myself retiring to a little cottage in the middle of nowhere; there I would while away the hours in front of a crackling fire, with a cup a tea and a good book in hand. Course, I would have my dogs (and cats) at my feet, keeping me cozy.
In this mental image, the wind is always howling outside, and the cottage is creaking with age.

Yes, I may be somewhat strange.

But then, a couple of months ago - July 15th to be precise - the Daily Mail printed this gem of an article, replete with photos, of No Man's Land - a Victorian sea fort off the coast of Portsmouth. My jaw dropped, and my previous fantasy dissipated like water off a ducks back when faced with the possibilities (you know, for self-reflection and such) owning such a property would afford.
I mean, surrounded by the sea, your only neighbors dolphins, whales and the occasional sea bird, who could resist?

My true, previously unrealized dream, really involves vast open miles of North Sea, a helicopter pad, and luxurious accommodation.
Who knew?
Excuse me while I go root about in the couch cushions... this lifestyle doesn't come cheap, but £4M for this piece of paradise?
I'll take it!

Lovely, ain't it?
My own little spa..
I could be persuaded to entertain occasionally - I would have the room, obviously.
I might also install a cannon, you know for effect.. and maybe to keep the BBC licensing folk away...

The fact that No Man's land is still within the jurisdiction of the UK, did give me some pause, but I got over it.

26 comments:

Sheri Perl-Oshins said...

Dear Jane,
Wow that IS some house. As a writer, I too am gregarious, yet reclusive. I need my space and alone time too! Yet, I can't help worry about what it would be like in that house during a nasty storm. I imagine there are many lightening rods!
Sheri

Sheri Perl-Oshins said...
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Jane Llewellyn said...

Sheri.. welcome!
You actually caught me in the midst of updating it.. I cannot post without changing it 20x!

The storms:-) Storms make me happy.. I told you, I may be a bit strange;-)

The Hitch said...

oooooooooooooooooooo
I wanted that when I saw it.
Slight problem
GULLS!
Be nice to spend a night there in the middle of a storm, cosy and warm.
Trouble is you would wake up with hundreds of huge seagulls crapping all over your house and attacking your cats (and you).
Thats why those forts are so cheap.

45govt said...

Hitch, the gulls would be a plus in my view, think of the money you would save on clay pigeons! My idea of heaven sitting in a deckchair waiting to shoot the shit out of gulls. It may be because I went to prep school in Toquay, and their fucking racket haunts me to this day. Couldn't shoot enough is my motto.

Jane Llewellyn said...

OK, 45G.. you're invited - see Hitch.. problem solved;-)

The Hitch said...

Hitch once shot a gull in the middle of a football game.
"What?"
Well, as a lad I used to wander about by the river Mersey and adjacent farmland with my trusty Weirauch along with friends.
We were non too fussy about what we shot.One day we were on the edge of a football pitch by the M62 and I fired at a gull, hit it through the wing, it couldnt take off so started running, right into the middle of a football match. Being humane I wanted to finish it off as quickly as possible , so ran on , said excuse me and shot it in the head.
This didnt go down too well 30 years ago so lord only knows what would happedn today if somebody did that.

Jane Llewellyn said...

Bloomin' hell Hitch.. do do have some stories to tell, don'cha?
Eve's a lucky girl;-)

Chucklenuts said...
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Daisy said...

it looks fab lady jane...i am looking for a hermit retreat myself...more in the form of a log cabin...secluded...but with some woods around to walk in...i love reading a book under a tree with leaves underneath me (or grass depending on the time of year)...well stocked wine cellar and i am good to go...

Daisy said...

oh yes and a shed...for a friend...

Jane Llewellyn said...
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Jane Llewellyn said...

Dais.. that would work for me as well. I do like the woods, and the imagery is magic!

45govt said...

Sounds lovely Killem, just the place I have in mind!

Jane Llewellyn said...

Killem.. I am officially envious (in a good way)

Ponce? You? Don't make me laugh!

The Hitch said...

Killem
HEAVEN
I adore france, good place to move to if it wasnt for the high taxes.
At least their Muslims know that they arent welcome outside of their ghettos ,same with the folk of a *coughs* a darker persuasion.

Jane Llewellyn said...

Doesn't sound like Killem has to worry overly about that being out in the middle of a forest.

Oh, what fun to be Mrs. K!

Jane Llewellyn said...

Killem... I was just talking to TS, and we both think you should have a blog! I would be an avid reader;-)

45govt said...

Killem, thers's alot of lovely weaponry around from the wars if you can unearth it. I remember years ago on a visit to the Normandy invasion area, being told that all the farmers and householders were heavily armed, and burglaries non-existent!
Alson in Belgium, the place is stiff with kit, I got offere an M1 carbine a couple of weeks ago when I was there.
I must say your bolthole sounds absolutely idyllic, I am v envious.

BTW Hitch, if you are still around, I checked on that schnell mag, it was for an MG42.

The Hitch said...

mr 45 govt
I recall the days in france when one could pop into the local gunshop and buy an ar15 as long as it was in 222 not 223 without a permit
a nice pump action 18 inch barrel shotgun, single shot 22 pistolsand all the ammo you wanted.
Hitch stocked up on brenneke slugs and teargas.
In one shop I bumped into an Irish man and his son doing some shopping, being at the time it was (the 80's) I was a little suspicious so engaged them in conversation "feck the gun laws we are buying some winchesters in 22 and a ruger 1022"
"smuggling it home in the panels of the caravan, do it every summer for my pals"
Had lunch with them afterwards. My kind of folks (+:

Jane Llewellyn said...

Lol Killem.. you are one of the funniest commenter's (and kindest) on the blogosphere;-)

I will pass on your regards to TS, as he doesn't seem to frequent the comments section - unfortunately!

Regarding prezzies for Mrs.K, what woman wouldn't love a pair of 12-bore pistols from her man?

..Maybe with a brace of diamond earrings on the side??

I trust you to make the better determination;-)

45govt said...

Killem, should have grabbed the MP40. I was once the proud possessor of a Thompson M1A1, but gave it away when I was young and foolish. P38 is a good bit of kit, but not in the same league as a 45govt Model, as you will appreciate!
I wonder if, in the cabinet of resistance pistols you mention they had a Liberator, a cheap .45 single shot pistol specially produced for dropping to partisans and resistance? I know the feeling you describe "'kin magic" -it's a disease that has afflicted me all my life!

Aahh I do love a good gun blog! Sorry LJ, for trespassing

Jane Llewellyn said...

45, you have carte blanche around here.

Jane Llewellyn said...

btw.. you did mean gun story didn't you.. cause a gun blog, this is not;-)

Now, did I tell you all about the Walther PPK I had? No, well it was given to me when I was around 19 and I took such good care of it, until I... Oh, Never Mind.

Daisy said...

killem...it sounds downright lovely...

Jane Llewellyn said...

Killem.. no need to apologize... you too have carte blanche around here;-)

The man that appreciates his women.. now that is quality. Merry Xmas!